this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
