sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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