you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just want nice things and good sex
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
