I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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