don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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