I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
