CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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