literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize