talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
