I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
