I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
