Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
