she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
