After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
