At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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