return my video game
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
