Moan for me like Helen Keller
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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