Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
