Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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