I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
