My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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