question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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