He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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