You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
