That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
