She is in my trunk
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
