Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
