Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
