in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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