he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
