I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
