i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
