everyone is single if you try hard enough
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
