I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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