Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
