he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
