if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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