I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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