I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
