Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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