duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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