Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
