i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
