I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
