could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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