I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
