i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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