im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think my moral compass just broke
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
