After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
