So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
