So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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